What we decide to do with the pain we experience every day is critical. If we hold onto it or try to heal ourselves, bad things happen.

To quote Wesley from the classic movie, A Princess Bride, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” Now that may seem a bit harsh or an over-exaggeration, but there is also a lot of truth in that statement. Life is filled with sweet moments and joy, but it is also filled with lots of opportunities to experience pain.

Like many of you, or if we’re being honest, like ALL of you, we have experienced pain in our marriage. More specifically, we have experienced pain directly from our spouse. The person in our lives who is the closest to us. The dagger that penetrated to the deepest part of who we are came from the one with whom we share a bed. The person who promised to care for us and stick with us for richer or for poorer in sickness and in health. No person is closer to you in life than your spouse.

Is it any wonder that they can cause you deep pain? Most of the time it’s unintentional, but when you’re struggling or even in crisis, it can be intentional.

What are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to handle the pain inflicted upon you by someone who promised NOT to do that?

As you might expect, there are two directions we can go to process our pain. One way is how God directs and guides us, and the other way is how the world, the flesh, and the enemy directs us. One way is more difficult, but carries the promise of blessing and healing. The other way is easier at first, but carries great consequences and even more pain later.

So, let’s look at the way the world, the flesh, and the enemy encourage us to handle our pain. Fill in the blank ______ with a pain moment in your life related to your spouse. Like the other day, my wife had some expectations for me while our friends were over visiting. Not only did I not meet those expectations, which were in truth very reasonable I might add, but I went the opposite route. I did my own thing and worked on a pet-project even after she gently reminded me three times…..

Read the rest of this article at Christian Family Life.

You can read “Part 2: How To Process Pain: What You Should Do” right here.

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